First 4 days

It's very difficult to comment accurately on what's happening while it is happening. I have no idea where I'm headed and at this stage of my life, I have more questions than answers. I know now why they say that hindsight is always 20/20. 

I don't really have anything interesting to share with you probably because I don't find anything interesting. All I've been doing in the last four days is sticking an otoscope inside people's ears and trying to get a glimpse of the tympanic membrane. I am yet to confidently diagnose anything. Perforations in the tympanic membrane are either too small or too big to be noticed by yours truly. I suppose with time I'll learn. This is a lot like how I felt during the first few days of my internship and housestaffship. Hopefully, with time, I'll be able to enjoy postgraduation. At this stage, the only thing I enjoy is the fact that I get to return to my teeny-tiny apartment each day by around 4 pm. 

I am happy to report that I haven't struggled to focus the light of the bull's eye mirror on the designated spot. That's something I found almost impossible during my 3rd Prof Part 1 days. On the very second day of my residency, I stabbed a woman in the throat because she was suffering from peritonsillitis. I don't think I was able to carry out the procedure perfectly but I guess the desired outcome was obtained. 

On my 4th day, that's today, I performed an incision and drainage on a submandibular abscess. The first one I've ever performed in this life. Again, I did struggle with the procedure. Although, once it was done, it appeared fairly straightforward. 

I've embraced the fact that I will have to make people bleed in order to make a living. Also the fact that no matter how many hurdles I seem to overcome, there will always be some seniors, who will berate me, sometimes, even in a room full of patients. Although, to be fair, being berated is probably the single most common experience I've had since 01/09/2008. My first four days in a surgical residency have hardly been eventful. 

All I've gathered thus far, is that there's a lot to learn and most probably a lot to do. Whether it leads to anything tangible, is hopefully, the million dollar question. I guess at this stage of my postgraduation, all I want from the next 3 years is the ability to diagnose every pathology, falling within the purview of otorhinolaryngology, correctly. Anything less would be a letdown. Anything more would be a bonus. Oh yes, and I'd also like to pass in a single attempt!